


Every Colour of the Rainbow!

by millygal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comedy, Crack, M/M, comedy smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-16 21:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14819502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal
Summary: The day Dean and Gabriel started spending any kind of time together marked the beginning of the end for Sam’s hard fought for sanity. Who knew being in a relationship with an Archangel could be so dangerous, and cost quite so much in hair dye?





	Every Colour of the Rainbow!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheYmp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYmp/gifts).



> Hey y’all, well isn’t THIS a departure from my usual fare?! However I had a BLAST writing this, and I do so hope that some of you who are hard notp'ing over this will at least try it, for shits and giggles, you know? ;) stir_of_echoes about fell off her chair reading this, lol. Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH to supernutjapan for her tireless efforts in artwork, and the extra effort she put into this puppy! The gifs alone are worth all my loves and smooches (gifs you will have to read the fic to actually see *mwahahaha*) As for the recipient, DUDE, you best know how much I adore you if I'm writing Destiel, LOL!!! I've been dying to post this for so long now, lol. I do hope you love it my dearest Ympness! And last but by no means least, thank you to jj1564 for her awesome beta skills ♥

Sam sits with his legs stretched out across Gabriel’s lap as they both shout abuse at the television, whilst Dean and Castiel hover in the background, attempting to make movie snacks without burning down Rufus’ cabin, and Sam is struck by the strangeness of their lives.

It’s not like they could ever have claimed to be normal to begin with, but the second the Winchesters started associating with the Angels on a personal level, their lives hit _odd-as-fuck_ and just kept going.

How exactly Sam ended up in an actual _relationship_ with Gabriel is still a mystery, to both Hunter **and** Archangel, but after Dean started spending so much down time with Castiel - a friend who became a confidante who eventually ended up being his Angelic snuggle bunny - Sam was at a loose end.

Sam found himself twiddling his thumbs whilst Dean and Cas argued over which movie they’d be watching for date night, and how Swayze always got a pass, and the younger Winchester started wishing he had a little _company_ of his own. Someone to laugh with, someone to debate with, someone who understood his mile-a-minute brain and everything that went on in it.

And in walked Gabriel, Castiel’s wing man and favourite brother.

Gabriel - the Trickster - a creature that almost broke Sam a few years ago by making him relive his brother’s death over and over again, not to mention giving them their little sojourn in television hell, is actually as smart as a whip, funny as fuck, and a great guy to get drunk with, not that Gabriel ever gets _drunk_. Damned stupid Angelic genes.

It took months of Castiel imploring him not to stab Gabriel on sight, before Sam could even stand to be in the same room as the smug know-it-all dick, but finally they sat down and talked, hashed out the hatred Sam still harboured for the Archangel.

Dean had walked in on a knock down, drag out fight between his brother and the Archangel and he’d been about to step in when the vitriolic words and hammer hard blows had degenerated into sloppy kisses and the sound of clothing being torn apart. Dean, had backed away slowly, with a smirk on his face and an urgent need to tell Castiel that his matchmaking schemes weren’t as dumb as Dean had first claimed.

Cut to the now and Sam can hear Dean trying to explain to Castiel that popcorn should not be burned black and hard as nails, and Sam feels like he and Dean might finally have found some kind of peace in amongst the crazy.

Peace is, however, a relative term when coupled with keeping the company of Angels.

Gabriel wriggles beneath Sam’s gargantuan legs and flicks his eyes over the back of the couch. “Are you two morons ever gonna get me my snacks, or do I have to conjure them myself?”

Dean’s reply is a tea towel swat to the back of Gabriel’s head and a string of curse words that turn the air blue. “First of all, your assness, if you’d just conjured your own fuckin’ food to start with, I wouldn’t be tryin’ to put out the fire your _brother_ just started in our kitchen. Second, get off your short lazy butt and do it yourself. Dick.”

Sam chuckles at Gabriel’s almost impressed expression before ducking down on the couch so as not to get in between his brother and his lover. The last time he tried splitting up a spat between the pair of them he almost ended up bald and nursing a set of breasts for a week.

As it was, Dean spent seven days sequestered in a motel room attempting to find t-shirts that fit over his newly acquired assets, with Castiel begging him not to try and repay Gabriel in kind.

Sam thinks perhaps Gabriel could have played a little fairer, it’s bad enough having Archangel juice, but adding magic into the mix is quite frankly cheating. Sam couldn’t bring himself to remonstrate his partner too hard, though, because Dean’s cue ball shiny head coupled with double D-Cup boobs provided a year’s worth of illicitly snapped pictures that will be adorning Dean’s birthday cards for the rest of his natural life.

Knowing how hard the Hunter and the Angel can go at each other is the only thing that forces Sam to reach into the air and wave his hand before snorting and trying to get through to the pair of them. “Gabe, Dean, time out, for fuck sake, unless one of you wants to end up sporting a bright purple mohawk and multi-coloured pubes.”

Dean leans against the counter and wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist, before chuckling and smirking at the back of his brother’s head. “Once, Sammy, I did that once, and he deserved it. He - “

“I don’t care if he deserved it, I spent a fortnight feeling like I was sucking off a unicorn. Quit it, both of you!”

Gabriel sniggers at Dean’s pout and eye rolling, and turns to Sam. “Come on Sammy-boy, even you have to admit I suited a little extra colour in all the wrong places.”

Castiel, up until this point, has wisely chosen to keep his mouth shut, but the memory of Gabriel wobbling his head every time he spoke just so his floppy mohawk flicked Sam in the face, is too much to take. “Think of it this way, Sam, at least you were not the one who ended up with multi-coloured body hair. You would have looked like a giant fairground ride prize. Gigantor the many coloured Moose.”

Sam’s head whips from side to side, taking in Castiel’s smug expression, Dean’s highly amused one, and Gabriel’s ridiculously large grin, and sighs as loud as he can. “I give up! One minute you two are trying to kill each other or find ways of giving each other extra body parts - don’t say it, either of you, my condom bill is high enough as it is - or you’re ganging up on me and giving me the mother of all headaches. I despair, I swear I despair.”

Dean laughs out loud at his brother’s exasperated tone and is shaking his head when he spots something in the diffuse light shining through the cabin’s windows. “Sammy, sit still a minute.”

Sam automatically wants to launch himself off the couch, but Gabriel’s got his arms wrapped tightly around the legs still resting in his lap. “What, WHAT. Is there a spider on me, in my hair?! ARGH! GET IT!”

Dean steps up behind Sam and runs his hands through his brother’s hair. “You amaze me, Sammy. Rugaru, Werewolves, Archangels with serious leather fetishes - don’t gimme that look Gabriel, I’ve seen inside your duffel - and you don’t bat an eyelash, but a spider and you’re suddenly a ninety pound woman who wants to hop onto the sideboards.”

Gabriel chuckles at Sam’s loud huff, but spots exactly what it is Dean’s trying to find nestled in amongst Sam’s long hair. “Oh, Sam, you are _not_ gonna be happy.”

“WHAT! What IS it?”

Castiel steps in behind Dean and peers over his partner’s shoulder. “Oh dear - do you think there are more of them?”

Sam’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown as Dean’s fingers part his hair and the two Angels in the room try and stifle their laughter. “WHAT!”

Sam feels a tug as Dean grips a strand of his hair and yanks, hard.

Dean’s hand snakes over Sam’s shoulder and there in his brother’s palm is a perfectly formed, extremely shiny, almost **white** hair.

The sound of Sam wailing at the top of his lungs and three other voices all snorting and chuckling can be heard halfway across the mountaintop Rufus’ cabin sits on, and it’s a very good job there’s no one around to see it, because a sudden flash of bright white light expands out onto the horizon, before Sam can be heard screeching at the top of his lungs.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”

“I think pink suits you, little brother!”

“Gabriel you are SO dead. Turn me back, turn me back!”

“What, I was just trying to fix the grey hair situation.”

“You might not have turned every follicle on his body quite such a sickly shade of pink, though, Gabriel.”

“Mmmm, candyfloss.”

“That’s it, you two are sleeping out under the stars tonight.”

 

 


End file.
